Unlike previous Cracked articles, where my reporting mandate was to invent every “fact” from scratch and then make it “real stupid,” my latest piece on the main page at Cracked is actually, honestly legitimately researched: 5 reasons why the iPhone might suck (and 5 reasons why we’re pumped anyways.)

This entailed way more time hanging around technology blogs and Apple fan sites than I considered healthy. Despite my protests, this work did not warrant any kind of ‘danger pay’ according to Cracked’s team of crack accountants, a grievance compounded by the fact that I blew through my expense budget ($0) appallingly quickly.

Despite these handicaps, the article did turn out pretty funny. You should go check it out now. Feel free to return here to discuss the merits of my arguments below.

Continue To: 5 reasons why the iPhone might suck (And 5 reasons why we’re pumped anyways.)

“Robotman,” I hear you asking, “it’s been weeks since you’ve examined someone else’s work, and made fun of it mercilessly. Oh how we miss the way you find something that a real live person, with their own hopes and dreams, has built up from nothing, and taken that thing and dashed it against the rocks for the cheap thrills of the slavering crowds below. What’s wrong? Can you no longer stand to look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, standing amongst the wreckage of other people’s work? Are you distracted by something external? Bad gas? A problem in the bedroom? A problem in the bedroom caused by bad gas?”

No, I’ve just been busy. But funny that you asked, because my latest and greatest piece for Cracked, The 13 Most Ridiculous TV Shows To Ever Get Green-Lit has just gone online. That has many of the things you’re looking for.

Continue To: The 13 Most Ridiculous TV Shows To Ever Get Green Lit