Today I was Kidnapped and Taken to IKEA

If you’re like most people, you’ve probably got some feature or attribute that you’d prefer other people don’t know about. It’s not necessarily something you’re embarrassed about, it’s just that there’d be lots of tedious explanations you’d have to go through if people found out about it. Maybe you’ve never seen Star Wars before. Maybe you tried to grow a beard once, but no-one noticed. Maybe you shave your asshole. Whatever your thing is, odds are there’s tons of other people out there who are the same way – they just never talk about it. And you don’t want to talk about it either.

My thing is that I’ve never been to IKEA. It’s not because I dislike the furniture they make, although I do. I’ve just never needed to buy furniture before. Seriously. In all the apartments that I’ve lived in everything’s either belonged to my roommates, or been hand-me-down items from various relatives. My parents used to have a shed stuffed to the rafters with spare furniture specifically to be used by me when I moved off to college. A pretty sweet deal for me, although perhaps less so for our cat. When I moved out and took the couch, he lost his favorite padded toilet.

Continue reading

Holy Crap! I Should Update My Blog!

Apologies for the long delay since my last post. Firstly, I blame the holiday season, what with the time spent shopping and time spent with loved ones and also the pagan rituals. Strange and busy times. Also, I penciled in quite a bit of time over the last few weeks for “not writing comedy,” which naturally ate in to my writing comedy time quite a bit. That should be all over now. Hopefully.

So to ease myself back into the blogging grind, I’ll start by updating you on a previous post from December. You’ll recall a few weeks back how I discussed an episode where I had to dig my car out of the snow. At the time I off-handedly mentioned that due to our mild climate, everyone else in Vancouver has a real hell of a time dealing with snow as well. Well we got another dusting of snow Thursday night. It was only an inch or so, so the odds of me breaking off parts of my car to get inside it were slim. Indeed I managed to do several things that day without looking like an ass. But how did the rest of Vancouver fare?

Well, the roof of our stadium collapsed. No shit.


Ok, to be fair, it didn’t collapse so much as develop a tear and deflate. Which doesn’t sound as bad, until you say the phrase “inflatable stadium,” and collapse in a heap of giggles.

Anyways, that’s all I have to say about that. Going skiing this week, but regular updates should show up again after that.