Continuing my series of hard-hitting investigative reports, is this piece of mine up on the main Cracked site. With a knife clenched firmly in my teeth, this time I dove into the dark and murky depths of the online Japanese costume shop world. Down there I battled terrifying demons and fonts that wouldn’t display on any browser known to man. It was pretty incredible. There were brave feats.

Along with learning a lot about myself, I also learned something interesting about the Japanese:

They’re pretty much completely insane.

Continue To: Insane Japanese Halloween Costumes!

The latest step in my long-term marketing plan to position this blog as the Number #1 portal for desperate loners on the Internet, is this piece up on the main Cracked site, this time a guide on online dating strategies.

So if you’re looking for useful and comical advice on meeting the partner of your dreams online, I highly recommend checking it out.

Or die alone. Whatever.

Continue To: Online Dating Strategies

Another piece of mine up on the main Cracked page, this time a quiz in the style of Cosmopolitan magazine. Although the title suggests that the quiz will help determine “What Type Of Girl You Are,” in laboratory tests most women found this quiz to be “moderately unhelpful.”

Continue To: Cosmo Quiz: What Kind Of Girl Are You?

I was out of town most of the last week, so I didn’t mention it here when it got posted, but there was a piece of mine up on the main Cracked page called Format Wars: CRACKED looks at the NextGen DVD Players.

It’s about as stupid as you think it’d be.

In other news, I’m currently working on exciting new material for Cracked magazine proper, and look for fresh stuff on the blog in a day or two.

Continue To: Format Wars: CRACKED looks at the NextGen DVD Players.

There’s a piece of mine up over on the front page of The Big Jewel at the moment. It’s called Squirrel, and appropriately enough it’s about a squirrel. Squirrel’s are inherently funny just on their own, but what makes this one so great is that he’s kind of an asshole.

Continue To: Squirrel

There’s a new piece of mine up on the main Cracked page that I advise everyone to check out immediately if they’re still trying to check off “Write Book” from their life’s To-Do list.

Continue To: How To Write A Bestseller

Eagle eyed readers might have seen a blog entry up Friday morning only to have it disappear shortly thereafter without any notice or explanation. These alert and not in any way hypothetical fans of mine would then likely have noticed the exact same article appearing on the front page of Cracked today: The Top 19 Movie Blunders Of All Time

Apparently the kind of untarnished hilariousness that falls out of my brain every 2 weeks or so was exactly what the elite comedy team at Cracked was looking for, so my blog entry got pilfered and now sits on the main Cracked site, under one of my mysterious and enigmatic pen names.

So if you haven’t read it yet, go do so now.

Continue To: The Top 19 Movie Blunders Of All Time