It has come to my attention recently that my parents are reading this blog. I find this more than a little disquieting, considering the tone of some of the things I’ve written about in past months. Something else to consider is the – oh dear lord – the language. Just as an example, over the last 3 months I’ve used the word “cockburger” more often than the word “there.” I’ve got webstats for this kind of thing.

What this means to you, both my parental and non-parental readers is a drastic change in the tone and subject matter for all future material on this blog. There will be no more frank discussion of intravenous drug use. And no more lists of hilarious names for venereal diseases. And certainly no more of this kind of tomfoolery.

No from now on you can expect to see a lot more short stories where the protagonist talks to his HR department about setting up automatic payroll deductions into a registered retirement account. Also expect to see a thrilling mystery where an embittered and hard boiled detective prepares simple but healthy meals after work that often contain portions of vegetables. I’ve also been working on a series of comics where the hero considers trading in his sports car for a sedan that gets above average gas mileage.

The phrase “deep-dickin” will be banned as of…..now.

Basically we’re talking about your non-stop roller coast ride of responsibility and sensible long term planning.

I know this might upset a few of my regular readers, and to be frank: this will hurt my traffic a bit. Sex sells. According to my web stats, last month alone, 20 people found this blog after typing in the phrase “animals humping.” 13 others found out about me by searching for “humping animals.”

Now that’s something to think about.

Anyways, welcome Mom & Dad. See you at Thanksgiving.