When buying a Valentines Day Card, the question you have to ask yourself is: Do I want to have sex tonight, or do I want to have mega-sex tonight?

Did you answer ‘mega-sex?’ Then feast your eyes on these bad boys.

Simply print out the one(s) you want, paste them onto some construction paper or stiff cardboard and present to your ladyfriend of choice. Nothing says “Thriftiness” and “Look! I didn’t forget this year!” like a home-made Valentines Day card.

___

Click the cards to see inside

____________________________

____________________________

____________________________

____________________________

____________________________

Alternately, if you’re in the sort of trouble that a horribly unthoughtful card can’t get you out of, you might consider getting your betrothed a gift. Of course it’s far too late now to simply go out and buy a gift that won’t infuriate your loved one. But if you have a few simple household items and time for 10 fevered minutes of work with a Glue Stick you can show her you care in a way that a $1500 tennis bracelet never could.

Perhaps you could make her…

A lovely stuffed animal

Household items needed: Glue Stick, Lamp (for Squirrelamp), Tiny clothes, Tiny fishing/hunting accessories, Pellet Gun

____________________________
Homemade Lingerie

Household items needed: Twine, Holepunch, King of Diamonds, Jack of Spades
____________________________
A Saucy Coupon

Household items needed: Paper, ink, supply of lovin’
____________________________
Pink Cookies!

Household items needed: Pink Cookies, Icing Gun, Imagination